The monster came at night and woke us in the mead hall. Blood-thirsty and evil, this beast devoured whole humans with a swift crush of the jaw.
Oh! How horrible the sights I have seen—memories scattered through my brain. Once seen, these visuals are impossible to erase. I will never forget that horrid night in the mead hall!
This beast—fat, hairy, smelly, evil, foul! This dreadful being!
Teeth! Sharp! Teeth! Teeth! Sharp! Razor teeth! Oh! How gruesome are the images flashing through my head. Fangs of the night!
The giant figure.....the moon! He blocked out the moon! His gigantic figure blocked out the moon shining in the mead hall. I, the only one awake, saw the terrifying shadow come over us. I saw him first and woke the others.
We tried to run, to scramble with terror in our hearts. We tried! I tell you we tried! But failed we did. Failed! He had us trapped in that hall—nowhere to go, nowhere to run!
He grabbed my friend! My sole friend! Pulled his limbs off like that of swine. Her finished him off and wiped the blood from his lips. The blood! Blood! Belched he did.
We all ran terrified, but we were no match for him! The beast!
Brown fur! Brown fur, bloody beard! Brown fur.....
This was SO good. I really like your writing style, and I liked the stream of consciousness-ness that you used to show how scared he still is. It was also interesting that you didn't focus as much on the character but instead wrote about someone's perspective of Grendel.
ReplyDeleteI really thought that your writing was very well done. Furthermore, i really enjoyed how you made it seem as if I was there with all the detail. Finally, I though that by using repetition you made the piece a lot more grabbing
ReplyDeleteI like how you capture the terror and confusion by using short, sharp sentences, fragments even, containing the impressions and feelings that are the key to your narrator's experiences. You've written a good series of pieces. Keep it up.
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